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Living with My CBSE Results

 

In light of the CBSE results coming out—today was a maelstrom of emotions, expectations, and endless waiting—yet somehow, I barely made it through. Not to sound overly dramatic, but I’ve tied today’s outcome directly to the value of my hard work, and in some ways, it reflected that.


I'd be lying if I said I was entirely satisfied with my score—because I’m not. But still, the world will keep spinning, and I can’t undo or reverse what’s done, so I’ll just have to learn to live with it. And yes, learning to live with undesirable outcomes takes growth—and for that, I’d say I’ve grown. To an extent—yes.


You’re probably wondering how I did, and maybe to you, it seems pretty good: 98 in Maths, 97 in French, 94 in Science, 93 in Social (completely unexpected), and 87 in English (yep, that’s the main source of my disappointment). So overall—93.8%. Pretty good, I guess.


P.S. I’m mostly writing this to feel a little better about myself, so don’t mind that.


Anyway, back to what I was saying—I think the real reason I feel so heavy-hearted is because if you had seen me studying day and night, every single day before the exams, you would've thought I was someone bound to get 98% or more. And honestly, I thought that too. I put so much pressure on myself, and I expected so much more—but that didn’t end up being the case.


I could go on pretending it doesn’t bother me by simply brushing it aside—but let’s be honest: if I do that every time something goes wrong, that’s no way to live. The only productive thing to do now is to pause, reflect on what I could’ve done better, and carry that lesson with me into next year. Ah one good thing that did come out of all this is that I ended up being the valedictorian this year. But the thing is—it doesn’t really feel valuable to me. You know why? Because even if, objectively, I performed the best in my school, it still doesn’t mean I met my expectations. And that’s what really matters to me.





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